Dialogue:Evil Me Hates Me

Last week I was so unhappy over something that I did not know. May be I was not that unaware. I knew why I was so gloomy, but I was trying my best to cheat myself. I tried my best to make myself believe that there was nothing wrong. But I failed. As a result there was some funny dialogue conversation between me and evil me. Here it is:

Me: Why am I so sad.

Evil Me: This guy who is sitting in front of you is the reason.

Me: What did he do?

Evil Me: He doesn’t treat you well. Whenever you try to have a little friendly conversation with him, he ignores you. I think he doesn’t like you.

Me: (This made me rueful) I hate him too. Why on earth he would dislike me. What harm did I do to him?

Evil Me: Yea, and not even him. The whole world hates you. (Evil me had an evil grin).

Me: I hate the whole world too. What does the world think of itself? Huh, I hate you world. (I screamed inside).

Evil Me: If you want to try your luck why don’t you try to ping people over skype. I am dead sure they would entertain you well, only if they care. (despite of the busiest hour of the day @work).

Me: Yea, I should give it a try. I am sure I am not that bad. And this guy, and those guys are a moron who dislike me (at this point I was cent percent sure that everyone in office had only one agenda, that is, to hate me).

The next few series of events at skype went like this:

Me: (To one of my favorite friend) Hey howdy??

Favorite Friend: Hey… !! I am good. You tell?

Me: I am fine (a lie). Wass up?

Favorite Friend: Nothing much. Hey dude, I am little stuck at office and then I have a meeting. Later then.

Me: okie dokie.

Evil Me pops in.

Evil Me: See the world doesn’t even want to talk to you.

Me:  Yea, you are right. But wait he was busy, let me talk to someone else.

Then I picked up some random friend from my skype’s list.

Me: Hey jigger. Kaisa hai? (how are you).

No reply.

Me: (really desperate) there?

Still no reply.

Me: (more desperate) let me know when you are there.

Still no response.

Evil Me: hahahahhahah

Me: Shutup you, a me, ahhh whoever you muffin Evil Me. I don’t want to live anymore. I am going to die. But wait why I should die. The whole world should die.

I was pretty upset on knowing that the whole world hates me, dislikes me and doesn’t care for me. I really thought that this was end of the world, and I decided I would follow “No first ping” policy from now onwards. But then suddenly my phone bell rang.

Phone Bell: tring… tring… tring..

Oh this was mom.

Me: Hey Mom, As’salam o Alaikum

Mom: Wa Alaikum’mus Salam wa Rehmatullah. How are you?

Me: Mom a little upset (Can’t lie to mom). You tell.

Mom: Hey why upset.

Me: Nothing mom, just here and there. Everything okay, called for some reason?

Mom: Yea, just felt like talking to you so called you up.

And then me and mom talked for few more minutes, nothing important at all. But after I hung up the phone, I was feeling awesome and my moral was elevated like anything.

I looked at my skype and there were 5 or more friends saying me hello. (enough prove to show Evil Me, that people do care for me.)

I was not hating anyone anymore, including myself. Though the guy sitting in front of me was still as irritating as he was.

Life was beautiful again, and life is not that ruthless anyways. So in case someone evil from inside or outside, tries to make you feel bad, sad, gloomy or hateful. Snub him before he overcomes.

Have a nice weekend guys and a happy dappy start of week to us in gulf 🙂


19 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sobia
    Dec 31, 2011 @ 15:59:01

    Actually u know when this happens……..when u r alone and u r thinking so much…….so what i would suggest is stop thinking!!!!……:)


  2. Muhammad
    Dec 31, 2011 @ 18:19:58

    Nice one mate…


  3. KNisa
    Dec 31, 2011 @ 20:32:08

    😀 “No first ping” policy is awesome to make yourself feel deceptively important 🙂
    Enjoyed reading every bit of it!


  4. Sidra
    Dec 31, 2011 @ 21:27:57

    This was actually funny 😛
    Though it was something to learn from
    Still I love the way you convey every message and most of all I wonder why didn’t you actually take journalism as a profession 🙂


  5. rabiatahir
    Jan 01, 2012 @ 20:35:11

    Thanks for giving such a great read! Very perky composition! Keep up 🙂


  6. Muhammad Omer
    Jan 02, 2012 @ 11:28:39

    Asslam-O-Alikum! Doost! I hope are going great… I have faced same issue few years (2-3 years) back. Try to involve yourself in some activities, that makes you busy like go outside and help other or join any sport club or something you like… It is very important because, evil me communication will leads you demoralization and evil me will always show you negative points only. After sometime you will become so negative believer person, which is not good at all. (This is my experience; I fixed “evil me” error by creating new thread under independent process body to make rules for life, that defines bad thoughts flag true for me; whenever new though get-in though messaging queue; which I discard responsively. You need to make algorithm for that thread according to your personality.)

    Take care! I lied all the things, which I wrote above. 😀 😀 😀 😀 😛

    [Serious note: I am missing you so much. LOVE YOU!]


    • Muhammad Omer
      Jan 03, 2012 @ 09:52:43

      Jigar, I love to be a part of complex problems. Please consider me, whenever you plan to write thread for yourself. I would recommend to write threading code in C++. I love memory handling in multi-threading…

      whenever new thought get-in thought messaging queue;

      (Love You!)


    • Ahmed Malik
      Mar 06, 2012 @ 23:28:25

      Wa Alaikum’mus Salam Wa Rehmatullah….. luv u too brother 🙂


  7. Naeem Akram Malik
    Jan 03, 2012 @ 13:58:02

    Most proly you were home sick… Now we know that gauging whether world hates/loves you by messenger pings can produce unreliable results some times… 🙂
    BTW lots of people love you Ahmed bhai… So just chill out… Evil you ki aysi ki taysi 😉


  8. M. Fareed Arif
    Jan 03, 2012 @ 21:24:13

    Ping … Ping… Ping… We care about you ahmed…:)


  9. farooq
    Mar 06, 2012 @ 19:22:48



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